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Profound thoughts collected to spread enlightenment, and mild confusion. ;)

1. If you keep both feet on the ground, you can't put your pants on.
2. It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
3. It's not a matter of whether you win or lose, it's how you place the blame.
4. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
5. It's not pretty being easy.
6. It's not enough to succeed, others must fail.
7. Never eat anything bigger than your head.
8. It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is... dead, Jim.
9. It's sad how whole families are torn apart by simple things; like wild dogs.
10. Join the army, see interesting new places, meet interesting new people, and kill them.
11. Just when you think you've won the rat race, along come faster rats.
12. Look forward to number one; don't step in number two.
13. You don't really care about your apathy.
14. A crowded elevator does not smell the same to short people.
15. A naked man fears no pickpockets.
16. A problem drinker is one who never buys.
17. A sweater is a garment put on a child when his mother feels chilly.
18. Practice safe government. Use kingdoms.
19. Age and treachery will overcome youth and skill.
20. Put people on hold when possible.
21. Every day a day goes by.
22. Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
23. Never hit anyone with glasses. Use your fist.
24. Nothing is ever so bad that it can't get worse.
25. Reality is an obstacle to hallucination.

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